Givers and Receivers...

So I must not be able to put the "issues" aside that continue to haunt my attempts at friendship in the work place. In the shower just now, I think I had an epiphany:

People in this life are either "givers" or "receivers." Rarely, I guess ,someone can be both and we all have moments in which we operate as a member of the other group, but people are most often simply one or the other. Perhaps our g/r status is determined by our environment, perhaps by something deep within the fibers of our being. Nature or nurture, we are one or the other.

Givers are those who reach out without being asked, who offer of themselves freely, who wear their hearts on their sleeves and are often injured because of their willingness to be open and believe the best of people. Givers think and love deeply, ponder and seek out the best options. They attempt perfection and are hard on themselves when they fall short. They endeavor to please those around them. Givers fucking rock, ok! Often, however, they are taken advantage of and/or cast aside as being weak by our other group: receivers. Receivers are those who take, who ask, who jump to conclusions, who act on impulse. They rarely offer of themselves anything that requires work, effort, or sacrifice, anything that puts them in a vulnerable position. Receivers, I'm sorry to say, really SUCK!

My epiphany is likely clear by now: I happen to be a giver. My husband is a giver. All of my closest friends are givers. Over the course of the last year, I have learned that the majority of people with whom I became close in college are among the most amazing givers and I am thankful to be counted among them. Sadly, however, the majority of people I have met since moving to Des Moines are receivers and it has taken me this long to see it. Instead of pondering why "I'm not enough" I am going to strive to see that I am enough and those who can't also see that aren't worth the effort I'm attempting to spend on them. If they see a burned bridge in their way, I am tired of being the only one attempting to glue it back together. I need to stop attempting to foster failed friendships and focus on the stunningly beautiful ones I have. Work is likely not the place for me to find new pals anyway, right?

So here is a shout out to my beautiful givers, among whom I am proud to be counted: Stephie (prime), Gabster, Kimmy, Kimball, Rissy, Kathryn, Anni, Stephie (II, but no less awesome), Kevin, Anthony, Aaron, Erin (yeah you), and the many others out there who, though not named, and amazing and phenomenal. Stand strong all you givers! Keep giving and know that you are enough for the people who are enough for you!