My immediate reaction to writing that is "just get over it." But that's the thing, I can't! I don't enjoy much in life anymore. Reading, games, movies: they all used to hold joy for me and no longer appeal. Trying to enjoy them leaves me feeling guilty, like I need to do something worthwhile or work on the house or fix something for Killian or whatever. It's not a pleasant thing.
How did I learn I had it? I had spring break off and couldn't think of a single enjoyable thing to do on the days Lillian was at daycare. I am lethargic all the time and can't relax. When I do get to sleep, I conk out hard then can't sleep the rest of the night.
So what, right? So I need some help I guess. I am going to the doctor because according to those wiser than me, I am not producing enough seratonin and need to get some soon.
I think that school switching to year-round is stressful although I am looking forward to it. Preparing things for Killian is stressful, although it is necessary and I love him more than I can say!
It all boils down to needing a little help to get over the hump. I know many women go through this, get help and are beautiful mothers as a result of seeking help. I just need to be one of those I guess.
Sorry for the depressing post, but it's real, will help me learn to help myself, and I hope that someone out there reading this gets it and is perhaps better for knowing they aren't alone either.
I leave you with a picture of my reason for living and wanting to return to enjoying my life: Killian!
No comments:
Post a Comment