Yesterday, at 6:20, I began to bawl my eyes out as I took Killian to "school" (aka. day care) for the first time. I start back to work tomorrow, but I had to go to the doctor for my "yep you can go back to work" check-up yesterday and the more I thought about it, the more I decided that having him start at day care a day or two early would be a good idea. One, it will help me get accustomed to a new morning routine that involves clothes OTHER than my pajamas and going back to bed. Two, I need to get used to him not being constantly around me, get the tears out a bit now so I'm not such a sobbing mass when I go back to work. Three, it will help him get acclimated to the people and the environment a bit. And four, if there are any major issues I can hopefully get them worked out in the first few days while I have time to do so, like buying him more clothes or diapers to keep there or going in to feed him a bottle if he won't take it from them.
I cried the whole way there! It was awful. When I pulled up to the place, the lights were all off! OMG! I thought they opened at 6:30am! Well, they do, but I was a couple of minutes early. Then, when I went in, his classroom was completely dark! Where was his teacher? I tracked down the lady I'd seen unlock the door (just the next room over) and introduced myself and Killian, saying we were starting today. It turns out that Killian's teacher doesn't get in until 7:30, but they have one staff member come in at 6:30, then another at 7:00. I both understand and am frustrated by this. Killian is so little, I don't want him to be around SO MANY kids and potentially get all of their germs! I do get it though, that with costs being what they are, they can't afford to have EVERY staff member come in right at 6:30. Still, it's a bit of a grrrr situation.
After I left him with the three-year-old teacher and other kiddos, I cried the whole way to school. I didn't have to go in, but I did need to pick up some papers that I was being given by my sub. I stayed at FP for over an hour, just kind chatting with folks and getting hugs for the pitiful expression I must have had on my face. After FP, I ran to Target to pick up a humidified because it seems that Killian is developing the cold that both Aaron and I have had and we can't give him anything for it. On the way to Target, I called the day care to talk to his teacher to see if she found the note I'd left and had any questions for me. She was so sweet and totally put my mind at ease. I came home for a bit then, pumped and watched some TV before running out to West DSM for my doctor's appointment. Everything looked good and we got this cute little shirt for Killian that says, "I got my first hug from Dr. Booth." Dr. Booth delivered Killian. I guess every family gets one, but it was super cute and something I'll keep for him forever (along with every other item of too-cute-to-get-rid-of clothing). The best news was the doctor told me I was ok to start freezing milk again. THANK THE LORD!
After the doctor, I ran to HR to drop of my paperwork saying I'd been cleared to return to work and then tried to drive across town to see how long it would take me to get from FP to the day care. I stopped to get the batteries in my watch replaced (finally) and drop off my prescriptions at the pharmacy. As soon as I got home, I started dumping milk into my freezer bags. I made seven (that's right, 7!) of them and the fridge no longer looks like the place pumped milk goes to die (ie. a graveyard of milk bottles).
I piked up the house a bit, did a load of laundry and a load of diapers, and chilled until I just couldn't stand it anymore and I drove back to school to pick up my little boy. He was wide awake, gripping a set of those linking rings, and in his teacher's arms when I walked in. I started to cry again as I took him from Tonya (his teacher). She said he had a great day! He did have a diaper leak on his clothes, but he ate well and at almost exactly 3.0 hours intervals, had three naps (2x45 minutes and 1 for an hour) and had done a great job. His other teacher Katie said, "He's my little buddy! I need a nickname for him!" I was so happy to hear that. He fell asleep on my shoulder while I talked with his teachers for 20 minutes or so, then we went home. He fussed a bit, but I held him, cuddled him, and let his sleep on the boppy on my lap until he was hungry again. Oh, I love my little man SOOOOOOOOOO much and I'm so glad he did so well.
This morning, although I was a bit more at ease, it was still very hard to leave him, but I know he's going to be well looked after and that by 4:00pm, I'll see him again. I'm planning to spend this last day home taking care of some of my needs. I'm getting my hair done and potentially buying myself some new jeans, since all of mine look like clown pants for the most part. TTFN readers!
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